The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast focuses on your spiritual, emotional and physical well-being to help you be the best leader possible. Each episode explores research and practical tips to help you be a personal and professional non-anxious presence.
If you’re new to the podcast or want a review of family systems theory, start with these episodes:
Episode 2: Self-Differentiation
Episode 4: Leadership through Self-Differentiation
Episode 26: How to Handle It When You Are Anxiously Attacked
Episode 27: How to Stand up for Yourself
Episode 48: Envy, Empathy and Emotional Connection
Episode 79: Balancing the Tension between Self-Definition and Emotional Connection
Episode 82: Perspective Is Everything for the Non-Anxious Leader
Episode 90: How Self-Awareness and Intentionality Foster Self-Differentiation
Episode 119: Four Automatic Responses to System Anxiety (and How to Deal with Them)
Episode 137: Triangles – What They Are, How They Work and How to Manage Them
Here is the entire catalog (newest first). You can listen to the episode, as well as find the show notes, by clicking the appropriate link.
Episode 309: 5 Ways You Can Grow as a Non-Anxious Presence – Part 1 of 2
Episode 308: 5 Ways to Assess the Health of Any Relationship System – Part 2 of 2
Episode 307: 5 Ways to Assess the Health of Any Relationship System – Part 1 of 2
Episode 306: How to Prepare Yourself for a Hard Holiday Discussion
Episode 305: We Have to Do Better – How a Non-Anxious Leader Can Make a Difference
Episode 304: What to Do Now that the Election Is Over
Episode 303: Family Systems Theory – A Practical Overview
Episode 302: Nobody Likes to Be Told What to Do
Episode 301: How Humor Helps You as a Non-Anxious Leader (and How It Doesn’t)
Episode 300: Pain and Responsibility
Episode 299: Everyone Loves a Non-Anxious Presence – Chapters 10-14
Episode 298: Everyone Loves a Non-Anxious Presence – Chapters 5-9
Episode 297: Everyone Loves a Non-Anxious Presence – Chapters 1-4
Episode 296: Non-Anxious Leaders Don’t Expect Reciprocity
Episode 295 Self-Differentiated Leaders Set Healthy Boundaries (Rebroadcast)
Episode 294: There IS an “I” in Team
Episode 293: 7 Characteristics of a Non-Anxious Leader
Episode 292: Why Saying What You Believe Matters (Rebroadcast)
Episode 291: An Interview with Dr. Kathleen Smith (Part 4 of 4)
Episode 290: An Interview with Dr. Kathleen Smith (Part 3 of 4)
Episode 289: An Interview with Dr. Kathleen Smith (Part 2 of 4)
Episode 288: An Interview with Dr. Kathleen Smith (Part 1 of 4)
Episode 287: A Family Systems Take on the Five Stages of Maturity
Episode 286: Worry, Stress, Anxiety, Excitement and the Non-Anxious Leader (Rebroadcast)
Episode 285: How Positive Intelligence Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence (Part 2of 2)
Episode 284: How Positive Intelligence Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence (Part 1 of 2)
Episode 283: Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?
Episode 282: The Zen of Self-Differentiation (Part 2 of 2)
Episode 281: The Zen of Self-Differentiation (Part 1 of 2)
Episode 280: 5 Things Non-Anxious Leaders Don’t Do
Episode 277: 10 Steps to Effectively Deal with Resistance (Part 2 of 2)
Episode 276: 10 Steps to Effectively Deal with Resistance (Part 1 of 2)
Episode 275: A Family Systems Take on Daniel Goleman’s 6 Leadership Styles
Episode 274: 4 Things You Can Do to Be A Non-Anxious Presence this Election Year
Episode 273: 5 Reasons You Have Trouble Setting Boundaries
Episode 272: 6 Things You Need to Do to Be a Non-Anxious Leader (Rebroadcast)
Episode 271: 6 Ways to Avoid Choking in Anxious Situations
Episode 270: The Problem with Diagnosis (and How to Avoid It)
Episode 269: 5 Ways to Stop People Pleasing
Episode 268: How Self-Differentiation Breeds Self-Confidence (rebroadcast)
Episode 267: Non-Anxious Leaders Don’t Complain (and 5 ways to stop)
Episode 266: 4 Ways to Be a Better Parent (and Leader)
Episode 265: A Family Systems Take on The Five Dysfunctions of a Team
Episode 264: 3 Ways Avoidance Increases Anxiety and 3 Things You Can Do About It
Episode 263: The Spotlight Affect and Taking Responsibility for Self
Episode 262: How Can Someone Who Is Trying to Help Be So Annoying?
Episode 261: What Exactly IS a Failure of Nerve – Part 2 of 2
Episode 260: What Exactly IS a Failure of Nerve – Part 1 of 2
Episode 259: 5 Tips to Start Your New Year Well
Episode 258: Overfunctioning, Underfunctioning and Healthy Emotional Space
Episode 257: 5 Ways Non-Anxious Leaders Facilitate Healthy Organizational Culture
Episode 256: Good Guilt, Bad Guilt and Self-Differentiation
Episode 254: How to Stand Up for Yourself during the Holidays (or Anytime) – (Rebroadcast)
Episode 253: Unpacking the Responsibility Triangle
Episode 252: How Understanding Symmetry Helps You Manage System Anxiety
Episode 251: Non-Anxious Leaders Encourage Healthy Disagreement
Episode 250: 3 Simple Steps to Repair a Reactive (or Adaptive) Response
Episode 249: Non-Anxious Leaders Manage Their Own Anxiety without Involving Others
Episode 248: How to Use Surrounding Togetherness Pressure in Healthy Ways (Rebroadcast)
Episode 246: Non-Anxious Leaders Understand They Are Not in Control
Episode 245: 5 Ways to Assess the Health of Any Relationship System – Part 2 of 2
Episode 244: 5 Ways to Assess the Health of Any Relationship System – Part 1 of 2
Episode 243: 5 Phrases that Hold You Back as a Non-Anxious Leader (and How to Change Them)
Episode 242: Self-Differentiation Is NOT Independence
Episode 241: The Give and Take of Self-Differentiation
Episode 240: Non-Anxious Leaders Encourage Challenge Not Comfort
Episode 239: 5 Ways that Mindfulness Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence
Episode 238: Five Steps to Deeper Emotional Connection (Rebroadcast)
Episode 237: A Family Systems Take on Procrastination
Episode 236: What Is a Boundary and Why Does It Matter?
Episode 235: 3 Steps to Taking Responsibility for Self When Others Refuse to Do the Same
Episode 234: Non-Anxious Leaders Embrace Discomfort
Episode 233: Self-Differentiation Is Defining Self, Not Others
Episode 232: Self-Differentiation Builds Self-Trust and Confidence
Episode 231: A COVID Family Reunion Redux – A Case Study
Episode 230: How to Say “No” as a Non-Anxious Presence
Episode 229: How to Create and Maintain Healthy Emotional Space
Episode 228: 4 Steps to Creating a Non-Anxious Culture
Episode 227: A Family Systems Model of Burnout – Part 2 of 2 (Rebroadcast)
Episode 226: A Family Systems Model of Burnout – Part 1 of 2 (Rebroadcast)
Episode 225: Non-Anxious Leaders Aren’t Afraid to Say No
Episode 224: How to Rework a Difficult Relationship
Episode 223: 5 Things That Help You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence
Episode 222: How to Focus on Emotional Process (and Not Content)
Episode 221: This Is How Self-Differentiation Makes You a Trustworthy Leader
Episode 220: Taking Responsibility for Self Can Increase Resilience
Episode 219: 3 Things You Need to Know to Lead in a Hostile Environment
Episode 218: Self-Differentiated Leaders Set Healthy Boundaries
Episode 217: What’s Going on in The United Methodist Church? – Part 3 of 3
Episode 216: What’s Going on in The United Methodist Church? – Part 2 of 3
Episode 215: What’s Going on in The United Methodist Church? – Part 1
Episode 214: Toxic Positivity Is NOT Self-Differentiation
Episode 213: Why a Quick Fix Is No Answer
Episode 212: What to Do When You Can’t Be Yourself
Episode 211: Level 5 Leaders and Self-Differentiation
Episode 210: A Family Systems Take on Emotional Labor
Episode 209: How to Remain Cool Under Pressure
Episode 208: 4 Steps to Manage Reactive People
Episode 207: How to Make Your Habits Work for You (Rebroadcast)
Episode 206: How to Be a Non-Anxious Presence
Episode 205: How Self-Differentiation Breeds Confidence
Episode 204: How to Manage the Negative Emotions of Others (rebroadcast)
Episode 203: 8 Signs That You Are Not Self-Differentiating
Episode 202: Four Types of Triangles and How to Manage Them
Episode 201: Leadership Tips from Edwin Friedman (plus Where to Find Family Systems Training)
Episode 200: Here’s What Too Much Togetherness Looks Like (and What You Can Do about It)
Episode 199: Three Ways Non-Anxious Leaders Respond to Political Division
Episode 196: Leadership through Self-Differentiation (Part 2 of 4) – Emotional Process
Episode 195: Leadership through Self-Differentiation (Part 1 of 4) – Triangles
Episode 194: Self-Differentiation Requires Emotional Courage
Episode 193: How to Make Your Anxiety Work for You
Episode 192: 6 Things You Need to Do to Be a Non-Anxious Leader
Episode 191: 8 Questions to Help You through Challenging Situations
Episode 190: Two Levels of Self-Differentiation
Episode 189: Storytime – Put Your Own Oxygen Mask on First
Episode 188: Five Ways Self-Differentiation Builds Resilience
Episode 187: Self-Differentiation Is Self-Giving
Episode 186: Why Saying What You Believe Matters
Episode 185: One Reason Leaders (Especially Pastors) Burnout
Episode 184: Three Ways to Take Responsibility for Self
Episode 183: A COVID Family Reunion – A Case Study
Episode 182: A Family Systems Take on Non-Violent (or Compassionate) Communication – Part 2
Episode 180: Self-Differentiation and Integrity in the Workplace
Episode 179: Three Ways to Create Emotional Space
Episode 178: Stop Trying to Change Others – Do This Instead
Episode 177: The Connection between Wisdom and Self-Differentiation
Episode 176: These Phrases Will Help You Avoid a Conflict of Wills
Episode 175: How to Use Surrounding Togetherness Pressure in Healthy Ways
Episode 174: Self-Differentiated Leaders Know How to Ask for Help
Episode 173: Five Science Insights that Show Why Leadership through Self-Differentiation Works
Episode 172: Six Ways to Manage Anxiety (rebroadcast)
Episode 171: Change, Fear, Uncertainty and Hope-An Easter Message (rebroadcast)
Episode 170: Mirror Neurons and the Non-Anxious Presence
Episode 169: The Leverage of the Dependent
Episode 168: Self-Compassion is Essential to Self-Differentiation
Episode 167: Interlocking Triangles – A Case Study
Episode 166: Paradox and Playfulness – A Case Study
Episode 165: A Family Systems Take on Burnout
Episode 164: Balancing the Tension between Desire and Fear
Episode 163: Attachment – The Pros and Cons of Emotional Connection
Episode 162: Non-Anxious Leaders Nurture Disciples, Not Clones
Episode 161: Five Steps to Leading with Compassion
Episode 160: Four Steps to Using Emotional Intelligence to Self-Differentiate
Episode 159: Edwin Friedman’s 11 Tensions in Leadership
Episode 158: The Long-Term Cost of Surrounding Togetherness Pressure (and What You Can Do about It)
Episode 157: Your Brain on Anxiety
Episode 156: How to Break the Cycle of Chronic Emotional Patterns
Episode 155: Understanding Chronic Emotional Patterns
Episode 154: How to Stand Up for Yourself during the Holidays (or Anytime)
Episode 153: Managing Family Estrangements during the Holidays
Episode 152: How to Deal with Annoying Family Members during the Holidays (or anytime)
Episode 151: Six Steps to Being an Authentic Leader (rebroadcast)
Episode 150: Five Steps to Deeper Emotional Connection
Episode 149: More Tools to Help You Self-Regulate
Episode 148: The Difference between Narcissism and Self-Differentiation
Episode 147: How to Be a Better Parent (and Leader)
Episode 146: The Positive Side of Anxiety (and How to Make It Work for You)
Episode 145: Family Systems Theory – A Practical Overview
Episode 144: 7 Ways to Handle a Conflict of Wills
Episode 143: A Family Systems Model of Burnout – Part 2 of 2
Episode 142: A Family Systems Model of Burnout – Part 1 of 2
Episode 141: Society Wants a Scapegoat. Does it Need One?
Episode 140: Being a Self Is Not Selfishness
Episode 139: Authenticity and Leadership through Self-Differentiation
Episode 138: Effective Leaders Understand the Difference Between Emotional Process and Content
Episode 137: Triangles – What They Are, How They Work and How to Manage Them
Episode 136: Want to Be Happy? Embrace Challenge as an Opportunity for Growth
Episode 135: Emotional Cutoff – What It Is and How to Deal with It
Episode 134: Surrounding Togetherness Pressure – A Personal Story
Episode 133: Emotions Are Contagious – Here’s What You Need to Know
Episode 132: How to Deal with a Frustrated Person – A Case Study
Episode 131: What to Do When You Make a Mistake – A Case Study
Episode 130: Servant Leadership and Self-Differentiation – Part 2 of 2
Episode 129: Servant Leadership and Self-Differentiation – Part 1 of 2
Episode 128: How to Grow Stronger Emotionally
Episode 127: Five Characteristics of Self-Differentiation
Episode 125: Another Look at Differentiation of Self (Part 2 of 2)
Episode 124: Another Look at Differentiation of Self (Part 1 of 2)
Episode 123: How Emotional Intelligence Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence (Part 2 of 2)
Episode 122: How Emotional Intelligence Helps You to Be a Non-Anxious Presence (Part 1 of 2)
Episode 121: Storytime – How to Motivate the Unmotivated
Episode 120: Storytime – Understanding Projection and its Leadership Implications
Episode 119: Four Automatic Responses to System Anxiety (and How to Deal with Them)
Episode 118: How to Build Resilience (a Family Systems Take)
Episode 117: Mindfulness Can Help You Better Self-Regulate
Episode 116: How to Talk with a Child (or Someone Who Acts Like One)
Episode 115: Storytime-Recognizing a Conflict of Wills
Episode 114: Storytime-Put Your Own Oxygen Mask on First
Episode 113: Storytime-How to Deal with Hypersensitive People
Episode 112: Storytime-To Avoid Resistance Stay in Your Lane
Episode 111: Storytime-The Power of the Dependent
Episode 110: Not All Conflicts Are Equal
Episode 109: Self-Differentiation Is Not Selfishness
Episode 108: Five Steps to Better Self-Regulation
Episode 107: The Power of a Creative Minority
Episode 106: The Importance of a Loyal Opposition
Episode 105: Is Society Regressing?
Episode 104: How to Make Your Habits Work for You
Episode 103: The Magnet Theory of Emotional Distance
Episode 102: The Problem with Emotional Intensity
Episode 101: Family Systems in a Nutshell – A Children’s Story
Episode 100: A Family Systems Take on Non-Violent (or Compassionate) Communication – Part 2
Episode 99: A Family Systems Take on Non-Violent (or Compassionate) Communication – Part 1
Episode 98: Non-Anxious Leaders Understand Paradox and Playfulness
Episode 97: Your Most Important Role as a Leader
Episode 96: Five Characteristics of Resilience (and How They Help the Non-Anxious Leader)
Episode 95: The Problem with Moral Convictions
Episode 94: How Fusion Results in a Herd Mentality
Episode 93: A Family Systems Perspective on Imposter Syndrome
Episode 91: The Characteristics of an Authentic Leader
Episode 90: How Self-Awareness and Intentionality Foster Self-Differentiation
Episode 89: Mimetic Theory and Self-Differentiation – Why Being Yourself Is So Hard
Episode 88: Goal Direction and Self-Differentiation
Episode 87: Three Ways Donald Trump’s Leadership Style Increases Anxiety in America
Episode 86: Worry, Stress, Anxiety, Excitement and the Non-Anxious Leader
Episode 85: Facts, Beliefs and the Non-Anxious Leader
Episode 84: Edwin Friedman’s Tensions in Leadership
Episode 83: Rites of Passage – A Personal Case Study
Episode 82: Perspective Is Everything for the Non-Anxious Leader
Episode 80: A Persistent, Low-Level Anxiety
Episode 79: Balancing the Tension between Self-Definition and Emotional Connection
Episode 78: Hamilton, Burr and Self-Differentiation
Episode 77: Leadership through Self-Differentiation in a Polarized Society-A Case Study
Episode 76: Leadership through Self-Differentiation in a Polarized Society
Episode 75: Self-Differentiation Promotes Unity in the Midst of Diversity
Episode 74: Four Steps to Making a Hard Decision
Episode 73: Murray Bowen Never Used the Term Sabotage-Why It’s So Important to Edwin Friedman’s Work
Episode 72: Self-Differentiation and Maturity-A Look at the Work of Jenny Brown
Episode 71: Save Your Energy for the Important Decisions
Episode 70: Piercing the Fog of War-Four Steps for Effective Leadership in Uncertain Times
Episode 69: Five Ways to Boost Work from Home Productivity (COVID-19 Edition)
Episode 68: Self-Acceptance Leads to Self-Differentiation
Episode 67: Six Ways to Manage Anxiety
Episode 66: Change, Fear, Uncertainty and Hope-An Easter Message
Episode 65: If You Met My Family, You’d Understand-Chapter 10 Doing Your Own Work
Episode 64: If You Met My Family, You’d Understand-Chapter 9 Paradox and Playfulness
Episode 63: If You Met My Family, You’d Understand-Chapter 8 Self-Regulation
Episode 62: If You Met My Family, You’d Understand-Chapter 7 Sabotage
Episode 61: If You Met My Family, You’d Understand-Chapter 6 The Leverage of the Dependent
Episode 60: If You Met My Family, You’d Understand-Chapter 5 Process and Content
Episode 59: If You Met My Family You’d Understand-Chapter 4 Triangles
Episode 58: If You Met My Family You’d Understand-Chapter 3 All Change Is Loss
Episode 57: If You Met My Family, You’d Understand-Chapter 2 Problem and Challenge
Episode 56: If You Met My Family, You’d Understand-Chapter 1 The Symmetry of Life
Episode 55: A Family Systems Take on “Megxit” (Harry and Meghan Step Back from the Royal Family)
Episode 54: How to Have a Congregational Conversation on a Difficult Subject
Episode 53: Self-Differentiation (Rebroadcast)
Episode 52: How to Deflect Anxiety
Episode 51: Anxiety, Apologies and the Definition of Success
Episode 50: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 2 of 2)
Episode 49: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 1 of 2)
Episode 48: Envy, Empathy and Emotional Connection
Episode 47: The Year End Review (with a Family Systems Take)
Episode 46: Origin Stories and Family Narratives (the Holidays are coming)
Episode 45: Understanding Free Will and Self-Regulation (the Holidays Are Coming)
Episode 44: Four Rules for Political Discourse (and another look at Donald Trump’s leadership style)
Episode 43: Four Relationship Warning Signs (and How to Deal with Them)
Episode 42: Effective Leaders Trust Self and Others
Episode 41: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 3 of 3)
Episode 40: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 2 of 3)
Episode 39: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 1 of 3)
Episode 38: Spiral Dynamics, Richard Rohr and the Problem We Face
Episode 37: Parent is a Noun (and How that Applies to Leadership)
Episode 36: The Illusion of Control (and Why It Matters)
Episode 35: Sabotage and Empathy (What Works and What Doesn’t)
Episode 34: How the Emotionally Dependent Hold Us Hostage
Episode 33: Xenophobia and Self-Differentiation
Episode 32: Why You Get Triangled (and How to Deal with It)
Episode 31: All Change Is Loss
Episode 30: Anxiety Is Poison (Nobody Gets the Problem They Can Handle)
Episode 29: Three Ways a Leader Must Be Flexible
Episode 27: How to Stand up for Yourself
Episode 26: How to Handle It When You Are Anxiously Attacked
Episode 25: The Positive Consequences of Pain
Episode 24: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (and How to Avoid Them)
Episode 23: Musings from Thailand on Self-Differentiation
Episdoe 22: The Secret of Success
Episode 21: Difficult Conversations Part 2-How to Be a Non-Anxious Presence
Episode 20: Difficult Conversations Part 1-What’s Going on in Us?
Episode 19: Self-Regulation–the Key to Being a Non-Anxious Presence
Episode 18: Pain, the Quick-Fix, Crisis and Why It’s a Great Time to Be a United Methodist
Episode 17: Soap, Innovation and Emergent Strategy
Episode 16: A Family Systems Perspective on Brene Brown’s Anatomy of Trust
Episode 15: Messy Desks vs. Clean Desks (and Why It Matters)
Episode 14: Murphy’s Law, Entropy and Managing Your Response
Episode 13: Rules, Values and Motivation
Episode 12: Balancing Gratitude and Ambition
Episode 11: What to Do When You Are Verbally Attacked
Episode 10: Placebos, Commitment Devices and Routines
Episode 9: Salience, Slug Lines and the Perception of Risk
Episode 8: Why You Don’t Change Your Mind
Episode 7: Emotional Contagion, Humor and Anxiety Levels
Episode 6: Intergenerational Communication
Episode 5: Procrastinating Smartly and Moving Quickly
Episode 4: Leadership through Self-Differentiation
Episode 3: Self-Discipline, Willpower and Habit Formation
