Disagreement Without Drama: How Curiosity Creates Healthy Emotional Space
Most disagreements don’t go sideways because of the content. They go sideways because of the intensity, that is emotional process. The moment we feel ourselves diverging from someone else’s view, anxiety rushes in. We brace. We prepare our counterpoints. We tighten our tone. And without meaning to, we communicate something like, “You’re wrong, and […]
Podcast Episode 375: 3 Ways We Bind Anxiety and How to Manage Them
Murray Bowen and Michael Kerr wrote that when anxiety rises, relationship systems automatically find ways to “bind” the anxiety. This episode covers what that looks like and what you can do about it. Show Notes: Anxiety Bound by Kelly Matthews-Pluta Check out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach. Become a Patron for […]
Podcast Episode 374: 5 Characteristics of an Open Relationship System
Murray Bowen described open and closed relationship systems. This episode explains the differences and how it applies to leadership. Show Notes: An Open-and-Shut Case? by Rev. Jennifer Long Check out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach. Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Podcast Episode 373: Non-Anxious Leaders Don’t Complain (and 5 ways to stop) (Rebroadcast)
Complaining is not helpful to you or those you lead. Here’s how to stop. Show Notes: The Happy Way to Drop Your Grievances by Arthur C. Brooks Check out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach. Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Caring Without Control: Finding Healthy Emotional Space in Leadership
Emotional space is a tricky thing. People need space to be themselves. But without healthy emotional connection we can’t experience life fully. This is the difference between independence and interdependence. In his book, Morality, Jonathan Sacks shares an analogy. It’s like porcupines sleeping in winter. They need each other to keep warm. But if they […]
Podcast Episode 372: A Family Systems Take on Moral Foundations Theory (Part 2 of 2)
Moral foundations theory proposes that human moral judgment is built on a small set of innate psychological intuitions that different cultures and individuals prioritize in distinct ways. This episode applies it to political polarization and shows how a non-anxious presence can make a difference. Show Notes: Moral Foundations Theory | moralfoundations.org Moral foundations theory – […]
Calling People Forward: A Family Systems Approach to Resistance (Part 2 of 2)
If you haven’t done so, I encourage you to read Part 1 of this post first. Both parts are based on the article, Calling People Forward Instead of Out: Ten Essential Steps, Justin Michael Williams and Shelly Tygielski Once you’ve done the internal work in Steps 1-4, you’re ready to engage with someone who […]
Podcast Episode 371: A Family Systems Take on Moral Foundations Theory (Part 1 of 2)
Moral foundations theory proposes that human moral judgment is built on a small set of innate psychological intuitions that different cultures and individuals prioritize in distinct ways. This explains these foundations from a family systems perspective. Show Notes: Moral Foundations Theory | moralfoundations.org Moral foundations theory – Wikipedia Jonathan Haidt: The moral roots of liberals […]
Calling People Forward: A Family Systems Approach to Resistance (Part 1 of 2)
Every leader eventually runs into resistance. It doesn’t matter whether you’re leading a congregation, a nonprofit, a staff team, or your own family. The moment something important is at stake, anxiety rises, and people dig in. I’ve learned over the years that you can’t argue someone out of their deeply held values. You can’t shame […]