Podcast Episode 46: Origin Stories and Family Narratives (the Holidays are coming)
Sharing “origin” stories and family narratives makes a family stronger. The holidays are an especially good time to make this happen. Whether you’re asking the right questions or sharing your stories, doing this will help everybody relax and connect with each other. Join the Non-Anxious Leader Network (it’s FREE). Show Notes: The Psychology Behind Superhero […]
Podcast Episode 45: Understanding Free Will and Self-Regulation (the Holidays Are Coming)
Yuval Noah Harari maintains that the greatest threat to freedom is the myth of free will. This episode examines free will to understand how we can better self-regulate in anxious situations. Join The Non-Anxious Leader Network (it’s completely FREE) Show Notes: The Myth of Freedom by Yuval Noah Harari
Podcast Episode 44: Four Rules for Political Discourse (and another look at Donald Trump’s leadership style)
Effective leaders are able to say what they believe while giving others the freedom to disagree. The Gottman Institute offers four rules to guide political discussions. Arthur C. Brooks offers these to help end what he describes our culture of contempt. This episode unpacks these from a family systems perspective, as well as takes another […]
Podcast Episode 43: Four Relationship Warning Signs (and How to Deal with Them)
Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling are signs that a relationship is going downhill. Maintaing self-differentiation and a non-anxious presence can turn things around. Show Notes: The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling by Ellie Lisitsa of The Gottman Institute The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes by Ellie Lisitsa of The Gottman Institute
The Importance of Connection
I write a lot about self-differentiation. That may make it seem that it’s all about self. But there are two components to self-differentiation. One is self-definition, which is the ability to express what you believe in healthy ways. The other is emotional connection. Self-differentiation is the ability to self-define while staying connected to others, especially […]
Podcast Episode 42: Effective Leaders Trust Self and Others
Trust is a key leadership competency. Developing a culture of trust requires trusting self, then trusting others. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman The Fundamental Attribution Error Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath The Moral Molecule: How Trust Works […]
Life’s Important Moments Open Opportunities for Change
A friend and colleague once shared that he had been estranged from his brother for nearly two decades. They had been very close growing up. He doesn’t know what precipitated the cut off. As he said, “I must have done something to offend him.” Then their stepfather and mother died in the same year. […]
Podcast Episode 40: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 2 of 3)
Bill Selby is the founder of the Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies. In this segment, he talks about how to deal with sabotage in the context of a church meeting.
Podcast Episode 39: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 1 of 3)
Bill Selby is the founder of the Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies. He has been training clergy in how to be a non-anxious leader since 1999. This is part one of a three part interview. In today’s segment, Bill shares the importance of staying connected, process and content, and identifying healthy leaders.