Podcast Episode 38: Spiral Dynamics, Richard Rohr and the Problem We Face
Spiral dynamics is a model that helps us understand both human and societal development. The challenge of the 21st century is finding unity in the midst of ever-growing diversity. Understanding family systems can help. Show Notes: Stages of Social Development: The Cultural Dynamics that Spark Violence, Spread Prosperity, and Shape Globalization by Don Edward Beck, […]
Addition by Subtraction
I am told that in 1996, when the district superintendent met with the church staff parish relations committee to tell them that I would be their new pastor, she told them that the new pastor had an earring. Apparently one of the members of the committee had a fit and threatened to leave if […]
Podcast Episode 36: The Illusion of Control (and Why It Matters)
We sometimes think we have more control than we do. At other times we underestimate the amount of control we have. Knowing the difference is an important leadership competency. Show Notes: Choiceology: Season 4 Episode 1 Keeping the illusion of control under control: Ceilings, floors, and imperfect calibration by Francescas Gino, Zachariah Sharek and Don […]
Podcast Episode 35: Sabotage and Empathy (What Works and What Doesn’t)
Being able to recognize and respond effectively to emotional sabotage is essential for leading change. Empathy is good, except when it’s not. This episode helps to unpack the difference. Show Notes: The following episodes are helpful in further understanding how to respond to sabotage: Episode 19: Self-Regulation–the Key to Being a Non-Anxious Presence Episode 26: […]
Principles and Particulars
Principles are great, but sometimes they conflict with the particulars. I got thinking about this when I listened to a three-part series about casuistry on Malcolm Gladwell’s podcast, Revisionist History. Casuistry, literally means “cases of conscience.” It is a form of moral reasoning that contrasts the relationship between moral paradigms and difficult situations, especially those […]
Podcast Episode 34: How the Emotionally Dependent Hold Us Hostage
Emotionally dependent people require others to make them feel loved and validated. Giving in to their demands holds us hostage. Understanding how this works, as well as how self-differentiation is a way forward is an essential leadership skill. Show Notes: Are You Too Emotionally Dependent on Your Partner? by Leon F. Selzer Ph.D.
Podcast Episode 33: Xenophobia and Self-Differentiation
This episode is a bit personal. Two recent occurrences reminded me that I’m different. The rise of xenophobia is a global phenomenon. Responding in self-differentiated ways to those who emphasize differences in negative ways is the best chance we have to build a more civil and hope-filled world. Show Notes: Does Fear Motivate Workers — […]
Three Time Management Principles that Changed My Life
Life-changing is a pretty strong term. But it’s true. I am not a list person. I don’t get any special satisfaction from checking off items on a to-do list. I go for guiding principles. These three have helped me meet important goals over the last two decades. Focus on the important but not urgent. […]
Podcast Episode 32: Why You Get Triangled (and How to Deal with It)
The emotional triangle is the most stable form of human relationship. This is because most of the time we are not able to appropriately deal with tension or stress in a two-person relationship. This episode gives examples of triangles, explains how they are formed and maintained, and shows you how to deal with being triangled. […]