Podcast Episode 137: Triangles – What They Are, How They Work and How to Manage Them
When we are uncomfortable with another, we often avoid dealing directly with that relationship by triangling a third person or issue. Understanding how triangles work and how to deal with them is essential to healthy functioning. This is the audio of Chapter 4 on Triangles from my book, If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: […]
Podcast Episode 136: Want to Be Happy? Embrace Challenge as an Opportunity for Growth
The difference between happy and unhappy people is how they respond to pain and suffering. This episode unpacks the family systems concepts involved. Show Notes: This Is The Most Fun Way To Make Your Life Awesome by Eric Barker The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By by Dan P. McAdams Episode 128: How to Grow […]
Paradox and Playfulness Can Help in Sticky Situations
Kat Cole faced a dilemma in her job as a Hooters server. Every week a young man came in with his buddies and ordered a plate of 50 wings. When it was time for the check, he complained that they only received 40 and demanded a discount. This would’ve been fine once, but it was […]
Podcast Episode 135: Emotional Cutoff – What It Is and How to Deal with It
Emotional cutoff is not uncommon in families, congregations and organizations. This episode helps you recognize it and manage it. Show Notes: Emotional Cutoff The Bowen Center for the Study of Family Episode 103: The Magnet Theory of Emotional Distance — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message
What to Do with the Elephant in the Room
Our country is more divided than ever. So how do you deal with hot button issues that are almost sure to spark a debate, if not an argument? When we are with extended family, we tend to just avoid the subject. We have a pretty good idea where others stand, and if we disagree, we […]
Podcast Episode 133: Emotions Are Contagious – Here’s What You Need to Know
A non-anxious leader understands how emotions spread and how to be a positive influence. This episode breaks it down. Show Notes: Those Who Share a Roof Share Emotions by Arthur C. Brooks — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message
Putting God First Means Family Comes Before Work
One of my sons was five when he asked, “Dad, when I get married will my wife be part of the family?” I said, “Of course!” He replied, “I mean can she come to Hatteras with us?” At the time, we had been celebrating vacation week with extended family on the Outer Banks in North […]
Podcast Episode 126: What to Do When Your Congregation’s a Hot Mess – A Case Study
This real-life case study, submitted by a podcast listener, illustrates important emotional process concepts. I break it down to help you grow as a non-anxious leader. — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message
Results Matter (But Not How You Might Think)
Results matter. If your efforts never get positive results, life would be pretty challenging. But I read a recent blog post that made me think about results and how we focus on them. It was about the Permian Panthers High School Football team of “Friday Night Lights” fame and their magical championship year. Their hard […]
