From Fight or Flight to Connection: Five Steps to Self‑Regulation
Self‑regulation is the ability to manage your own anxiety when tensions rise. It’s not about suppressing feelings or pretending everything is fine—it’s about staying grounded enough to respond in a healthy, intentional way. This Harvard Business Review article, How to Keep Your Cool in High Stress Situations, lays out five practical steps rooted in […]
Podcast Episode 360: Leadership through Self-Differentiation – Part 2 of 4 – Emotional Process, Sabotage, Pain & Responsibility (Rebroadcast)
Recognizing emotional process will not only help you avoid getting stuck, it will enable you to persist through the inevitable sabotage that comes when you are leading change. Show Notes: Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer Become […]
It IS Better to Give than Receive
When I started as a camp director in 2000, I didn’t think I’d be a fundraiser. By the time I left in 2023, much of my job was about raising money. One thing I’ve learned is that asking people for money is actually doing them a favor. Why? Because it IS better to give […]
Podcast Episode 359: Leadership through Self-Differentiation – Part 1 of 4 – Triangles (Rebroadcast)
The key to effective leadership is the ability to remain a non-anxious presence. Understanding triangles, as well as how to manage them, makes this easier. Show Notes: Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer Become a Patron for […]
Podcast Episode 357: 7 Ways Leaders Get Stuck and What to Do about It – Part 1 of 2
Understanding what Executive Coach Muriel M. Wilkins calls “Blockers” can help you get unstuck in your family, congregation and organization. Here’s what they are and how to unblock them. Show Notes: The Hidden Beliefs That Hold Leaders Back by Muriel M. Wilkins Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two for […]
It’s Complicated
It’s human nature to want to simplify things. We also like certainty. Most of us would prefer things to be black or white but most of life is grey. It’s complicated. What do we make of the friend or family member whose political views seem insane? Is it possible to love them but disagree with […]
Self-differentiation Is NOT Selfishness: Ego Strength vs. Egomania
In this thought-provoking blog post, Egomania vs. ego strength, Seth Godin inspired me to explore the difference between self-differentiation and selfishness—a distinction that’s crucial for anyone striving to be a non-anxious leader. Godin writes, “People talk about ego like it’s a bad thing, but our desire to do a good job, our self-trust, our […]
Podcast Episode 355: Three Ways Non-Anxious Leaders Respond to Political Division (Rebroadcast)
The political, cultural and theological divisions continue to widen. A non-anxious leader understands why AND how to respond. Show Notes: The Center for Family Process Only My Opinion Counts: Myside Bias by Jamie Hale, M.S. The Bias That Divides Us: The Science and Politics of Myside Thinking by Keith E. Stanovich Become a Patron for as little […]
Uncertainty and Decision-Making
I had a seminary professor say that if you wanted to do theology you needed to have a high ambiguity tolerance. What he meant was that so much of what we find in scripture leaves things open for interpretation. There’s much more gray than black and white. Therefore we have to be willing to […]