Three Steps to Help Manage Holidays with the Family
It’s the most wonderful time of year. Except when it’s not. Those who are grieving, lonely or in conflict would disagree with that sentiment. Even if you don’t fit this description, you can run into your fair share of anxiety, either your own or that of others. The combination of increased social activity, and […]
Lessons from Lifelong Kindergarten
The Lifelong Kindergarten (LK) group is part of the MIT Media Lab. This is how they describe themselves: “The Lifelong Kindergarten group develops new technologies and activities that, in the spirit of the blocks and finger paint of kindergarten, engage people in creative learning experiences. Our ultimate goal is a world full of playfully creative […]
Three Motivation Concepts that Will Make You a Better Leader
Effective leaders recognize what motivates intrinsically. Intrinsic motivation comes from within. This is compared to extrinsic motivation which is driven by external factors such as money, social status or the approval of others. While the latter is not always bad, those who work in mission-based organizations often do so because of intrinsic motivation. Understanding […]
Life-Giving Speech in a Hate-Filled World
The rhetoric is getting intense. This Facebook post is a good example. “Some of the most hateful arguments I’ve seen on FB lately have been people fighting over what to feed their dogs. Really people?” Oh and there’s the Supreme Court nomination. Before that there was immigration, tax cuts, gun control, Black Lives Matter, health […]
Four Ways to Get Honest Feedback (and Why It Matters)
You will hear me say this often, “Effective leaders say what they believe, while giving others the freedom to disagree.” Ray Dalio, founder of Bridgewater Associates, has built the world’s largest hedge fund with this approach. Central to the corporate culture is brutal honesty. He believes that if employees can’t be honest, especially with […]
The Power of Presence
When we think about trying to change things for the better, whether in our family, congregation or organization, we often think about strategy and tactics. Where should we head? How do we get there? Most of us overlook the power of presence. When you are a non-anxious presence, you are someone who knows your […]
Better Is Better
Our ice cube tray was cracked and leaking all over the freezer. I went to the store and it was $0.97 to buy a replacement; the hard plastic kind that you turn upside down, grab each end and twist in opposite directions to eject the cubes. Then I saw the silicone trays. Not only did […]
Nice People Finish Last (and First)
In his book, Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives our Success, Wharton psychologist, Adam Grant, describes three types of social interaction styles in the workplace: givers, takers and matchers. Givers are focused on others and what they need from them. They don’t worry getting credit. They genuinely want to help others succeed. Givers […]
Sidezoomers, Lineuppers and Surrounding Togetherness Pressure
I once listened to a Freakonomics podcast where they discussed the issue of what to do when a highway merges from two lanes to one. As Cynthia Gorney writes in her New York Times article, The Urge to Merge, this situation presents an ethical dilemma. Do you line up in the remaining lane well […]