Podcast Episode 28: How to Take a Leadership Stand on Controversial Issues (including a Family Systems take on Donald Trump’s Leadership Style)
As a leader, people want to know where you stand. Learning how to do this in a healthy way creates the possibility for conversations that can lead to effective change. Show Notes: Gun Reform: Speaking Truth to Bullshit, Practicing Civility, and Effecting Change by Brene Brown Trump’s Chaos Theory by Lance Morrow What’s Wrong with […]
Podcast Episode 27: How to Stand up for Yourself
The healthy way to stand up for yourself is to take a non-anxious emotional stand. Avoid reactivity by not arguing and not agreeing. Understanding family systems theory will help you do this. Show notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
I once went for a long run recently on a brutally hot morning. The temperature was already 80°. Many organized running events will cancel if the start time temperature is above 80°. A few miles into the run I realized that my pace was about 30 seconds per mile faster than my normal long […]
Podcast Episode 26: How to Handle It When You Are Anxiously Attacked
Remaining a non-anxious presence when someone unleashes their anxiety on you is a challenge. The best response is don’t argue, don’t agree. This requires the ability to self-regulate your own anxiety. This episode explores the best way to do this. Show Notes: Glossary of Family Systems Terms from The Center for Family Systems Theory of […]
What Cracking Ice Cubes Taught Me about Overfunctioning
A long time ago I realized every house needs an ice cracker. This was in the early 1980’s when we were living in Gainesville, Florida. Jodi and I had moved there to start a solar business with my brother. His wife and I were talking one day and we discovered that each of us was […]
Podcast Episode 24: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (and How to Avoid Them)
On our deathbed, most of our regrets will be things we left undone. Four of the top five are so-called regrets of inaction. Looking at them from a family systems perspective will help to avoid them. Show Notes: This article from Cornell summarizes Tom Gilovich’s work on regret. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: […]
Podcast Episode 23: Musings from Thailand on Self-Differentiation
Food is a proxy for culture, and culture is a system with its own set of unwritten rules that can create surrounding togetherness pressure. Getting outside of our own culture can help us to better self-differentiate. Show notes: Here is a recipe using turmeric marinated tofu. The egg I described in this episode is called […]
Weddings and Surrounding Togetherness Pressures
We are in Thailand for our daughter’s wedding. She and her husband met here while traveling 10 years ago. They’ve been together ever since. When they decided to get married she had a big decision to make. Among the people she wanted most to be here, besides immediate family, were her three aunts; my sister […]
Podcast Episode 22: The Secret of Success
The overnight success is a myth, or at best a rarity. The rest of us have to work at it. Regardless of what you do, there is a proven approach to making an impact. Show Notes: Domino Chain Reaction, a YouTube video by Stephen Morris. It’s only 2-1/2 minutes, and well worth watching. The ONE […]