Podcast Episode 371: A Family Systems Take on Moral Foundations Theory (Part 1 of 2)
Moral foundations theory proposes that human moral judgment is built on a small set of innate psychological intuitions that different cultures and individuals prioritize in distinct ways. This explains these foundations from a family systems perspective. Show Notes: Moral Foundations Theory | moralfoundations.org Moral foundations theory – Wikipedia Jonathan Haidt: The moral roots of liberals […]
Calling People Forward: A Family Systems Approach to Resistance (Part 1 of 2)
Every leader eventually runs into resistance. It doesn’t matter whether you’re leading a congregation, a nonprofit, a staff team, or your own family. The moment something important is at stake, anxiety rises, and people dig in. I’ve learned over the years that you can’t argue someone out of their deeply held values. You can’t shame […]
Podcast Episode 370: 5 Ways to Respond to System Anxiety
When relationship systems are stressed they get anxious. Here’s what that looks like and what you can do as a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: When the Family Tightens Up – by Kathleen Smith Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Podcast Episode 369: 5 Mistakes That Escalate Family Tension — and What They Teach Us About Leadership
Grandparents often interfere with the parenting by their own adult children. Understanding these five mistakes from a family systems perspective can help you grow as a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: 5 common mistakes grandparents make, according to a pediatrician by Perri Klass, MD Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two […]
Podcast Episode 368: What Exactly IS a Failure of Nerve – Part 2 of 2 (Rebroadcast)
Knowing the characteristics of a chronically anxious system, as well as the principles of leadership through self-differentiation makes all the difference. Show Notes: A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Paradox and Playfulness Can Help in Sticky Situations
Kat Cole faced a dilemma in her job as a Hooters server. Every week a young man came in with his buddies and ordered a plate of 50 wings. When it was time for the check, he complained that they only received 40 and demanded a discount. This would’ve been fine once, but it […]
Podcast Episode 367: What Exactly IS a Failure of Nerve – Part 1 of 2 (Rebroadcast)
Edwin Friedman’s last book, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, challenges us to lead differently. Here’s how. Show Notes: A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two for […]
Podcast Episode 366: Favoritism, Family Systems, and the Work of Differentiation
Whether you’re a parent, pastor or president, favoritism is unhealthy. Here’s the research behind it and four things you can do to interrupt the pattern. Show Notes: Do Parents Have Favorite Children? Of Course They Do. – The New York Times Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email […]
A Non-Anxious Leader Is a Lightning Rod (Not a Drain Trap)
It’s good to be a lightning rod.* It’s better than being a drain trap. If you’ve ever looked under your sink, you’ve seen a drain trap (also known as a p-trap). The u-shaped bend in the trap holds enough water to create a seal that prevents sewer gases from wafting back into your house. […]