The Power of Self-Respect
“To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves—there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect.” Joan Didion Most of us grow up believing that love is conditional on meeting expectations. We learn to monitor others’ reactions, adjust our behavior to keep them comfortable, and gradually lose touch […]
Podcast Episode 339: Unpacking the Responsibility Triangle (Rebroadcast)
You can’t make another person responsible. If you’re trying, you’re likely doing it wrong. Here’s why and how you can do better. Show Notes: Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin Friedman Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday emails.
Podcast Episode 338: Assuming You Know What Others Are Thinking Undermines Self-Differentiation
When you manage your anxiety by assuming you know what others are thinking, you often forgo the best possible outcomes. Show Notes: Are You Saying “No” For Others? – by Kathleen Smith Note: this is behind a paywall, but you can subscribe for $5/month (not an affiliate link). Become a Patron for as little as […]
Podcast Episode 337: Nobody Likes to Be Told What to Do (Do This Instead)
Understanding the concept of psychological reactance can help you avoid a conflict of wills and increase the chances that people will react positively to your leadership. Show Notes: Rebel with a Cause – Choiceology Podcast Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Podcast Episode 336: Four Types of Triangles and How to Manage Them (Rebroadcast)
The triangle is the most stable form of human relationship. Learning to recognize a triangle and how to manage it is essential to being a non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Kathleen Smith, PhD, LPC Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Garbage Cans, Masks and Surrounding Togetherness Pressure
There’s one thing I know: when a holiday falls on a Monday, all garbage collection moves back by one day that week. After one holiday weekend, I went online to verify that our usual Wednesday trash pickup had been moved to Thursday, even though I already knew this would be the case. It was. […]
Podcast Episode 335: 5 Ways to Lead during a Societal Regression
In A Failure of Nerve, Edwin Friedman maintained that societal regression is counter evolutionary. In this episode, I unpack his five evolutionary principles of life as leadership principles. Show Notes: Become a Patron for as little as $5/month. Subscribe to my weekly Two for Tuesday email newsletter.
Podcast Episode 334: Why a Quick Fix Is No Answer (Rebroadcast)
Anxious people want a quick fix. Non-anxious leaders know this is not the answer. Here’s why, as well as how you can respond to challenge in a way that will make a difference. Show Notes: How to avoid the most seductive leadership mistake by Ed O’Malley and Julia Fabris McBride Become a Patron for as […]
Podcast Episode 333: What in the World Is Going on Right Now? – Part 2 of 2
This episode explores Murray Bowen’s prediction for when we will emerge from the current societal regression, as well as what that will look like. Bonus: a few examples of a self-differentiated leader right now. Show Notes: A Perspective on a World on Fire: Societal Regression by Michael Kerr Societal Emotional Process — The Bowen Center […]