Podcast Episode 50: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 2 of 2)
Different parts of our brain are responsible for how we respond to anxious situations. Understanding how they function can help us better self-regulate. Show Notes: The Concept of the “Triune Brain” by Andreas Komninos THE EVOLUTIONARY LAYERS OF THE HUMAN BRAIN from mcgill.ca Amygdala hijack from Wikipedia Getting to Know Your Three Brains (five part […]
Podcast Episode 49: Hot States, Cold States and Self-Regulation (Part 1 of 2)
The Hot-Cold empathy gap predicts that our actions will not be what we think unless we are in the same emotional state. Understanding this can help us better prepare for anxious situations so we can be a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: In The Heat Of The Moment: How Intense Emotions Transform Us from Hidden Brain […]
Podcast Episode 48: Envy, Empathy and Emotional Connection
Comparing ourselves to others often results in envy. This sometimes drives us to get better, but has significant downsides. Understanding how envy and empathy work can help us have healthy emotional connections in the systems in which we function. Show Notes: Feeding the Green-Eyed Monster: What Happens When Envy Turns Ugly from Hidden Brain Schadenfreude […]
Podcast Episode 46: Origin Stories and Family Narratives (the Holidays are coming)
Sharing “origin” stories and family narratives makes a family stronger. The holidays are an especially good time to make this happen. Whether you’re asking the right questions or sharing your stories, doing this will help everybody relax and connect with each other. Join the Non-Anxious Leader Network (it’s FREE). Show Notes: The Psychology Behind Superhero […]
Podcast Episode 45: Understanding Free Will and Self-Regulation (the Holidays Are Coming)
Yuval Noah Harari maintains that the greatest threat to freedom is the myth of free will. This episode examines free will to understand how we can better self-regulate in anxious situations. Join The Non-Anxious Leader Network (it’s completely FREE) Show Notes: The Myth of Freedom by Yuval Noah Harari
Podcast Episode 44: Four Rules for Political Discourse (and another look at Donald Trump’s leadership style)
Effective leaders are able to say what they believe while giving others the freedom to disagree. The Gottman Institute offers four rules to guide political discussions. Arthur C. Brooks offers these to help end what he describes our culture of contempt. This episode unpacks these from a family systems perspective, as well as takes another […]
Podcast Episode 43: Four Relationship Warning Signs (and How to Deal with Them)
Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling are signs that a relationship is going downhill. Maintaing self-differentiation and a non-anxious presence can turn things around. Show Notes: The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling by Ellie Lisitsa of The Gottman Institute The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes by Ellie Lisitsa of The Gottman Institute
Podcast Episode 41: Interview with Bill Selby, Family Systems Expert (Part 3 of 3)
Bill Selby is the founder of the Center for Pastoral Effectiveness for the Rockies. He has been training clergy for 20 years to apply family systems theory in their leadership. In this segment, he discusses how to stay connected to anxious people, how to avoid isolation, and the impact of change. Show Notes: Center for […]
Life’s Important Moments Open Opportunities for Change
A friend and colleague once shared that he had been estranged from his brother for nearly two decades. They had been very close growing up. He doesn’t know what precipitated the cut off. As he said, “I must have done something to offend him.” Then their stepfather and mother died in the same year. […]