This a follow-up to the blog post I wrote on time management back in August. A camp and retreat colleague noted that time management is important, but creating space in your life for the things that matter most is a challenge. She asked if I could share what I’ve learned about this. Here goes.

You can’t do EVERYTHING

Whether you’re a camp and retreat, church, non-profit leader or a pastor, there’s always too much to do. No matter who you are, there’s too much to do. You can’t do it all.

As Warren G. Bennis put it, “Managers do things right. Leaders do the right things.”

You certainly want to do things well, but all things are not equal. Doing email well is one thing. But doing the things that will significantly improve yourself, the people you work with and the organization you serve is what effective leaders do.

Some 25 years ago I learned Stephen Covey’s concept of Big Rocks. In this video, Covey fills a bucket 2/3 full with pea gravel. The gravel represents all the little things that we have to do. Covey then asks a participant to put several big rocks in the bucket. Each rock has a label such as planning and preparation, family and relationships, important and urgent, major projects, vacation, etc. She can’t get them all in the bucket.

Covey gives the participant another bucket. This time she puts all the big rocks in first. She then pours the gravel on top and they trickle down into the cracks and crevices between the big rocks.

The lesson: if you don’t deal with your big rocks first, you won’t have room for them in your life.

I’ve tried to live my life with this principle, but I’m always learning.

For many years I would get to the office, open my computer and tear through my email. One day, I realized that the most important thing I could be doing is to check in with several key staff members. Instead of burying myself in a screen, I popped my head into their office to ask how things were going. Some days it only took a few minutes to make the rounds. Other days could take an hour or more.

This was a big rock. This does more for me and the team I serve than keeping my email inbox cleaned out. It builds trust, helps me better understand what is going on in our ministry, and gives staff a chance to talk through how they’re addressing their most important work.

You can’t do everything. Knowing what your big rocks are will help you to spend more time on what is most important.

YOU can’t do everything

How often do you do something yourself because it’s easier than showing someone else? Or because you can do it better?

You probably already know this is a trap. You become a bottleneck in your organization. You might also collapse under the weight of having to do so much yourself.

When I started in my current position 20 years ago, I made a concerted effort to get staff to take initiative to improve things, as well as to make decisions themselves. One day a staff member told me he had made a decision himself, then shared what he had done. I responded by saying, “That’s great! That’s not how I would have done it, but that’s OK.”

The first sentence was fine. The second wiped out the first. I realized my mistake immediately. Building your team’s capacity means being willing to let them do it their own way. It means encouraging appropriate risk-taking, celebrating successes and learning from things that don’t work.

I’ve learned that giving people the freedom to be their best helps them grow into that image. Putting the mission first, then trusting them to do the same, will help your team do their best work.

Letting go is hard. Doing it all yourself is harder.

Sharpen the Saw®

This is Habit 7 from Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. The habit is “Seek continuous improvement and renewal professionally and personally.”

The saying comes from a story about a woodcutter who has so much work that he doesn’t have time to stop and sharpen his saw. The blade continues to dull, making his efforts less and less effective.

If we don’t take time for self-care and continuous growth, we’ll have the same outcome.

Covey identifies four areas that need continual growth and renewal: physical, social/emotional, mental and spiritual. These are big rocks.

Eating right, exercising and getting enough sleep may seem optional, but you won’t be at your best without them.

Ignoring your important relationships will lead to loneliness at best, and disaster at worst.

You can’t get better as a leader if you are not continually learning.

And the spiritual life is like riding a bike. You’re either moving forward or you’re falling down. Spiritual growth is not an option for effective leaders.

I believe this is best illustrated in a story told by Coca-Cola CEO Brian Dyson:

“…Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends and spirit. And you’re keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

Work is not your most important priority. It’s important, but if you don’t take care of yourself and those that matter to you, work won’t mean a whole lot.

Leadership, like life, is a juggling act. Take care of the things that matter most. You’ll be a better leader.