Podcast Episode 138: Effective Leaders Understand the Difference Between Emotional Process and Content
Understanding emotional process enables leaders to know when they should engage in a conversation and when there is something else going on. This episode explains the difference. This is the audio of Chapter 5, “Process Not Content,” from my book, If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer. You can find all […]
Podcast Episode 137: Triangles – What They Are, How They Work and How to Manage Them
When we are uncomfortable with another, we often avoid dealing directly with that relationship by triangling a third person or issue. Understanding how triangles work and how to deal with them is essential to healthy functioning. This is the audio of Chapter 4 on Triangles from my book, If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: […]
Podcast Episode 136: Want to Be Happy? Embrace Challenge as an Opportunity for Growth
The difference between happy and unhappy people is how they respond to pain and suffering. This episode unpacks the family systems concepts involved. Show Notes: This Is The Most Fun Way To Make Your Life Awesome by Eric Barker The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By by Dan P. McAdams Episode 128: How to Grow […]
Paradox and Playfulness Can Help in Sticky Situations
Kat Cole faced a dilemma in her job as a Hooters server. Every week a young man came in with his buddies and ordered a plate of 50 wings. When it was time for the check, he complained that they only received 40 and demanded a discount. This would’ve been fine once, but it was […]
Podcast Episode 135: Emotional Cutoff – What It Is and How to Deal with It
Emotional cutoff is not uncommon in families, congregations and organizations. This episode helps you recognize it and manage it. Show Notes: Emotional Cutoff The Bowen Center for the Study of Family Episode 103: The Magnet Theory of Emotional Distance — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message
Podcast Episode 134: Surrounding Togetherness Pressure – A Personal Story
Surrounding togetherness pressure doesn’t always come from others. Our desire to please can cause anxiety. Here’s one example and how I dealt with it. — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message
Podcast Episode 133: Emotions Are Contagious – Here’s What You Need to Know
A non-anxious leader understands how emotions spread and how to be a positive influence. This episode breaks it down. Show Notes: Those Who Share a Roof Share Emotions by Arthur C. Brooks — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message
A Non-Anxious Leader Is a Lightning Rod (Not a Drain Trap)
It’s good to be a lightning rod. * It’s better than being a drain trap. If you’ve ever looked under your sink, you’ve seen a drain trap (also known as a p-trap). The u-shaped bend in the trap holds enough water to create a seal that prevents sewer gases from wafting back into your house. […]
Podcast Episode 132: How to Deal with a Frustrated Person – A Case Study
Remaining a non-anxious presence with someone who is frustrated creates healthy emotional space. This episode shows you how. — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message