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Welcome to Episode 304 of The Non-Anxious Leader Podcast. I'm Jack Shitama. Before we get into today's episode, I want to remind you that if you want to connect with me, you can email me at jack@christian-leaders.com. You can send me your comments, questions, and suggestions for future episodes. And you can go to thenonanxiousleader.com to find out more about the books that I've written, how you can engage me to speak at one of your events or workshops, or to schedule a free 30-minute coaching call. Finally, you can subscribe to my Two for Tuesday email newsletter at thenonanxiousleader.com or using the link in the show notes. Now, without further ado, here is episode 304, What to Do Now That The Election is Over. The United States had its presidential election this past week, and for only the second time in history, somebody won re-election for a non-consecutive term.

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This year's election is consistent with a global trend towards the right, as well as the defeat of the incumbent party. This is happening around the world. While this episode is primarily for those who are upset about the election, whether or not you are from the United States and whether you voted for the President-elect or not, I think you can find some helpful information in this episode. Remember, it's process, not content. It will be no surprise if you follow this podcast to hear me say that the most important thing you can do is take responsibility for self. That means if you are happy about the election, don't gloat. It's not a good look. You can celebrate, but when it comes to those who disagree with you, it often doesn't come across well. I know someone who's work colleagues said the morning after the election, Sorry for your loss. Now, if they had been truly sorry, that would be one thing, but it came across as spiteful and hurtful. Whether you are a leader in your family, organization, or congregation, It's important to show respect for those who disagree with you. Which leads to the other side.

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If you are upset about the election, don't blame others. The outcome is a large, complicated process. If you voted and perhaps worked for your candidate, that's all you could do. Blaming others gives up your own agency in managing your own functioning. That doesn't mean you can't be angry, disappointed, even devastated. Acknowledging your grief without blaming others, especially those who disagree with you, is healthy. It will not only help you get through what you're experiencing, it will make you stronger in the long run. You'll likely note that I haven't used names or specifics here. This It could be any country, any election, or any organization, and any outcome. Understanding that human nature leads to division, and that how we manage ourselves as leaders is more important than winning is key to being a non-anxious leader. This leads to the second thing I believe we all need to do, and that is to remember that human beings are not rational. We make decisions using intuition and gut feelings, then rationalize them. This is It's called post hoc rationalization. Remember this when you say to yourself, how can they support fill in the blank. And that can be a candidate, it can be a cause, it can be anything.

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It can be a sports team. Like many things, politics is based on values, and people rarely negotiate their closely held values. Post hoc rationalization is an important part of this and involves three things. First, justifying the decision. After making an In a emotionally driven decision, we look for logical reasons to justify our choice. This helps to maintain a sense of consistency and rationality in our actions. Second, applying selective attention. We focus on information that supports our decision and ignore or downplay information that contradicts it. This is known as confirmation bias, and the commercialization of news, as well as social media algorithms, reinforce this. Finally, We then create a narrative. We build a coherent story that explains why our decision was the right one. This narrative often includes logical reasons, even if the initial decision was purely emotional. Non-anxious leaders recognize that disagreement and division are part of the human condition. They acknowledge that in most cases, there is nothing wrong with them, and there is nothing wrong with those that disagree with them. That's self-differentiation. I am recording this early on the Sunday morning following the US election. I will be doing a dialog Q&A with the pastor of a church that I've been invited to visit.

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I was supposed to preach, but the pastor decided that we should help the congregation process their post-election feelings. I received questions in advance, and one of them asks, Is fill in the blank evil? My response will be, I prefer not to judge whether someone else is evil. I will leave that to God. I try to avoid defining others. Instead, I would say that their rhetoric and actions are diametrically opposed to my values, ideals, and Christian faith. Which leads to another point. Some people are concerned that this election is setting the US on a course that will result in disaster. Again, this is a matter of opinion. Yet I don't want to downplay the concerns. Things could happen that, in my opinion, would be unjust, oppressive, unethical, and even violent. I'm not saying things will unfold that way, but the political rhetoric certainly makes one wonder. That said, nothing has happened. This is where mindfulness is important. Seth Godin says, Anxiety is experiencing failure in advance. Mindfulness brings us back into the present. It's accepting the present without judgment. It helps provide perspective and reminds us that things unfold one step at a time. This can help you to observe of what's going on inside of you as well as around you without allowing your anxiety to take over.

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Deep breathing, labeling and accepting emotions, and focusing on how your body is experiencing them can help you remain mindful and reduce your anxiety. Again, this is process, not content. You can apply this to any situation where you are concerned about what is happening, but have little or no control over the larger situation and can only control your response. Response. Which leads to my last point. You need to stand for something before you can be against something. This is self-definition. It's knowing your values and what you want for the world. The ability to be a non-anxious presence depends upon knowing what you believe. It's easy to rail against others and their beliefs, but non-anxious leaders take a different approach. I think of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And the Civil Rights Movement. Dr. King spent more time focusing on what he believed, on what was possible, rather than blaming and demonizing those who disagreed. To say, I have a dream, or, I choose love over hate, is the essence of healthy self-definition. Dr. King also led a process called self-purification to undergird non-violent protest. This process involved preparing mentally, emotionally internally and spiritually using prayer, meditation, fasting, and nonviolence training.

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Here is an excerpt from the article Nonviolence from the Martin Luther King Jr. Research and Education Institute at Stanford University. King's notion of nonviolence had six key principles. First, one can resist evil without resorting to violence. Second, nonviolence seeks to win the friendship and understanding of the opponent, not to humiliate them. Third, evil itself, not the people committing evil acts, should be opposed. Fourth, those committed to nonviolence must be willing to suffer without retaliation, as suffering itself can be redemptive. Fifth, nonviolent resistance avoids external physical violence and internal violence of spirit as well. The nonviolent non-violent resistor not only refuses to shoot his opponent, but he also refuses to hate him. The resister should be motivated by love in the sense of the Greek word agape, which means understanding or redeeming goodwill for all people. The sixth principle is that the non-violent resistor must have a deep faith in the future stemming from the conviction that the universe is on the side of justice. To me, this is the essence of leadership through self-differentiation. It is defining self without defining others. It is knowing what you believe without demonizing those who disagree with you. It is creating healthy emotional space for those who aren't sure about what you believe to make their own decision.

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This is how people actually decide to follow. This is what Dr. King did, and he led what is arguably one of the greatest social change movements in human history without seeking political power. So whatever your political persuasion, I hope you can agree that leaders who make a difference don't divide. They lead through self-differentiation. They respect the dignity of all people, even maybe especially those with whom they disagree. I hope and pray you can be that leader. That's it for episode 304. Remember, you can connect with me at jack@christian-leaders.com, and you can find more resources at thenonanxiousleader.com. If you have found this episode helpful, please share it with somebody who might benefit. Please like and or leave a review on your podcast platform of choice. I appreciate it. Until next time. Thanks and goodbye.