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Welcome to Episode 130 of the Non-Anxious Leader Podcast, I'm Jack Shitama, and this is the second part in a two part series on Servant Leadership and Self Differentiation.

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The idea for these episodes came from a podcast listener who asked me to compare Self-differentiation and servant leadership. Interestingly, I got an email from another listener this past week who told me that servant leadership, which was developed by Robert Greenleaf, was inspired by a Herman Hessy book, Journey to the East. The main character in this book, Leo, served as Greenleaf's inspiration for how a servant leader might look in the world. So thank you to Brian Ivry, who is a long time listener and also is involved in the Non-anxious leader network, helping people to grow and their understanding of Family systems theory.

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If you haven't listen to part one of this series, please go back to Episode 129 and catch that first. I cover the first five characteristics of servant leadership. According to an article entitled Character and Servant Leadership 10 Characteristics of Effective Carrying Leaders by Larry Spears'. So without further ado, here is Episode 130 on Servant Leadership and Self-differentiation. According to Larry Spears, the sixth characteristic of servant leadership is Conceptualization. This is the ability to think beyond the day to day operational realities and to dream big dreams, so goes beyond short term operational goals and into long term thinking.

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This doesn't mean that servant leaders don't deal with day to day operations, but it also means that they are able to think about the future and think about where the organization or congregation is headed and family systems terms Edwin Friedman would call this vision leadership through Self-differentiation is not only about knowing your own goals and values, but it's also knowing what your preferred future looks like. It's about being able to have a sense of direction for yourself and the organization that you lead.

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Ideally, the vision for the organization or congregation is based in its mission. Ideally, as a leader, if your personal vision that is where you want to go personally is aligned with the mission and vision for the organization or congregation, then you can help create a picture of where you believe things should go both for the people that you lead and also internally for yourself. The primary role of a leader is to articulate this vision so that other people have a sense of direction.

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Without it, anxiety will increase in the system. It doesn't mean that you will always be right, and it's almost a certainty that you'll have to course correct on the way. But articulating vision is your most important role as a leader. And so this is very consistent with Spears understanding of conceptualization. You need to be able to think abstractly so you can create a picture of where you believe things should go and you can communicate that picture to the people you lead.

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The seventh characteristic of a servant leader is related to conceptualization, and that is foresight. This is also about looking toward the future. However, it's different in that it connects the future to the present by understanding how present actions might impact the future. That's what foresight is. It's thinking about. If I do this today, what will the impact be as we move forward in the future? This is definitely more art than science because none of us can tell the future.

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We are making our best guess. In a failure of nerve by Edwin Friedman he criticizes the idea that we rely too heavily on data. It's not that data is unimportant, but we can use it to avoid responsibility for making hard decisions. We need more data. We need more data. And over reliance on data actually helps us to avoid taking a leadership role and making difficult decisions. Your role as a non-anxious leader is to look at everything you are doing today in light of your vision and discern whether this will positively impact the future or negatively impact the future, then your job is to non-anxiously communicate this to the team that you lead.

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People aren't always going to agree with your decisions, and that's OK. The most important thing is that you make those decisions and the team that you lead will likely appreciate the fact that you were trying to achieve the mission and vision of the organization. That's what foresight helps you to do and Self-differentiation helps you to live that out in the most effective way. The eighth characteristic of a servant leader is Stewardship. I love this idea because it emphasizes the fact that we are not doing this work for ourselves, but we are doing it for the sake of something much larger. And faith based organizations, the mission is going to be related to God's calling for the congregation or the organization, as well as you as the individual leader.

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Even for nonprofit and even profit based organizations, stewardship means that you are interested in achieving the larger mission of the organization. And this is often for the common good. And regardless of whether it's a for profit or nonprofit organization or a congregation, there's going to be some element of finance involved. Without resources, no common good can be achieved.

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The main idea here is that stewardship is not about ourselves or even about the people we serve, but it's about the long term ability of the organization to achieve its mission. Stewardship and leadership through self-differentiation in this regard is related to vision and foresight. The NON-ANXIOUS LEADER is able to keep people focused on the mission and the idea that the collective work of the team is much more important than any individual goals. It helps people to think about serving a purpose that goes beyond self, and that is what stewardship is.

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According to Larry Spears, the ninth characteristic of a servant leader is commitment to the growth of people. Servant leaders believe in the intrinsic value of each person and the contribution that they make. And so a servant leader is committed to helping people grow personally and professionally. Because of this, the servant leader not only helps people to stretch themselves and to grow and to look for professional development opportunities, but the servant leader also encourages people to make decisions for themselves, to make mistakes and to learn and grow, and also solicits the input of members of the team so that they get used to creating ideas and contributing their thoughts, even if their thoughts are not always utilized.

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Leadership through Self-differentiation strikes a healthy balance between articulating vision, taking non-anxious emotional stands and giving other people the freedom to contribute and even disagree. The leader clearly understands what she is responsible for and does not take responsibility for others. This means that she is able to allow other people to make decisions and even make mistakes so that they can learn from them. The important and Self-differentiated part here is allowing input and allowing autonomy. It's not getting everybody to agree, but it's getting everybody to contribute.

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When you do this, the people that you lead will grow in their capacity and will grow as individuals. This will result in the organization growing in its capacity to achieve its mission. The final characteristic of a servant leader is building community. This is the recognition that when people have a common purpose, when they have a common goal, they are able to live and work together in a way that builds people up. Another way to describe this would be teamwork.

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And we know that being a part of a team, being a part of a group of people who achieved something important is Life-Giving. From a family system standpoint, this is all about connection, community is not about people being of one mind, nor is it about agreeing on everything. The one thing you do need to be agreed on is the mission. If someone is not in agreement with the mission, then they probably need to find another place to serve.

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But assuming that everybody's on the same page regarding the mission, building community means that the leader values everyone as persons, as individuals and as team members. Genuine, caring about the welfare of those that you lead is an important part of this. One of the radical concepts, I think, here is that when we understand that individuals matter and that is a part of building community, we allow them the freedom to become who they are meant to be. There are times when the congregation or organization will need to come before the individual and her family.

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But in most cases, acknowledging that people won't function at their best if they are struggling in their own family of origin is a helpful concept. I wrote a recent blog post about why I believe family comes before work, before the ministry that I serve, and in a faith based organization, I believe the priority should be God first family second and then the ministry or organization third. As a non-anxious leader, when you do this, I believe you actually contribute to the building of community because you help people balance the many demands that they have in day to day living.

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And when you do that, they are more committed to the mission. They are more committed to the team. They are more committed to building community. You can't force people to be a part of a community. So giving them the freedom to choose by also giving them the latitude to choose how to care for themselves in their family is one of the most important things a servant leader can do. Many times you will see that what a servant leader does is put the needs of the people she serves first.

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This is true when it comes to the needs of the person versus the needs of the organization. By taking care of people, you are actually taking care of the organization. In fact, the most recent business literature will say that you don't put the customer first, you actually put your staff first, because if you put your staff first, your staff will take care of the customer. Building community is about building a team that has a common focus on the mission even as they function as individuals.

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This is the healthy way to do it. At the same time, it allows each person to be an individual and to contribute and the way that they can best do so. Being a non-anxious leader, being a servant leader means we are able to do this by allowing people to live into it fully, not by proscribing who they should be or how they should act. That is leadership through self-differentiation. So that's it for Episode 130, connect with me at thenonanxiousleader.com and send me an idea for a future episode or send me a challenging situation that you'd like me to comment on until next time.

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Thanks and goodbye.