Lessons from Lifelong Kindergarten
The Lifelong Kindergarten (LK) group is part of the MIT Media Lab. This is how they describe themselves: “The Lifelong Kindergarten group develops new technologies and activities that, in the spirit of the blocks and finger paint of kindergarten, engage people in creative learning experiences. Our ultimate goal is a world full of playfully creative […]
Four Ways to Get Honest Feedback (and Why It Matters)
You will hear me say this often, “Effective leaders say what they believe, while giving others the freedom to disagree.” Ray Dalio, founder of Bridgewater Associates, has built the world’s largest hedge fund with this approach. Central to the corporate culture is brutal honesty. He believes that if employees can’t be honest, especially with […]
Three Ways I Navigate the Great Divide
When I scroll through Facebook or watch the evening news my lizard brain goes into action. This is the primitive part of the brain that reacts to threats with the fight or flight reflex. My blood starts to boil and I think what a jerk! How can they believe that?! Of course once I calm […]
The Importance of Life-Cycle Ceremonies
Our son’s wedding this week got me thinking about life-cycle ceremonies. Also known as rites of passage, these particular moments in the life of a family system are incredibly powerful. They have the potential to facilitate reconciliation and healing. On the downside, they can also result in conflict and emotional cut off. What’s the […]
Four Ways to Build Trust
As I wrote previously, trust is everything. As a leader, the most important thing you can do is to develop trust. This is more than just people trusting you. It’s also developing a culture of trust. But, it starts with you. If people can’t trust you as a leader, you’re not likely to build a […]
The Power of Presence
When we think about trying to change things for the better, whether in our family, congregation or organization, we often think about strategy and tactics. Where should we head? How do we get there? Most of us overlook the power of presence. When you are a non-anxious presence, you are someone who knows your beliefs, […]
Better Is Better
Our ice cube tray was cracked and leaking all over the freezer. I went to the store and it was $0.97 to buy a replacement; the hard plastic kind that you turn upside down, grab each end and twist in opposite directions to eject the cubes. Then I saw the silicone trays. Not only did […]
5-Steps Thank You
Your Special Report, “Five Steps to Jump Start Congregational Change,” is on its way. Jump starting change is just the first step. The critical next step is to deal with the inevitable sabotage that will occur. Whether you’re a layperson or clergy, Anxious Church, Anxious People: How to Lead Change in an Age of Anxiety to […]
Nice People Finish Last (and First)
In his book, Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives our Success, Wharton psychologist, Adam Grant, describes three types of social interaction styles in the workplace: givers, takers and matchers. Givers are focused on others and what they need from them. They don’t worry getting credit. They genuinely want to help others succeed. Givers […]