Mitt Romney knew the blowback would be fierce. He voted to remove President Trump from office anyway.
This is not a political post. This is not about whether Romney was right or wrong; a hero or a villain. This is about self-differentiation.
Self-differentiation is the ability to take a non-anxious stand in the midst of surrounding togetherness pressure. It’s the ability to say what you believe, even when there is pressure to conform to the unwritten (and sometimes explicit) rules of a given system. In this case, the system is a political party.
Surrounding togetherness pressure is often passed down from generation to generation through tradition. The tradition in the United States Senate is clear. Romney is the first senator in US history to vote to remove a president of his own political party.
The pressure from others in his party was intense. In the speech Romney gave explaining his vote, he made clear that he understood the consequences.
“In the last several weeks, I have received numerous calls and texts. Many demanded that, in their words, ‘I stand with the team.’ I can assure you that that thought has been very much on my mind. I am aware that there are people in my party and in my state who will strenuously disapprove of my decision, and in some quarters, I will be vehemently denounced. I am sure to hear abuse from the President and his supporters. Does anyone seriously believe I would consent to these consequences other than from an inescapable conviction that my oath before God demanded it of me?”
This is self-differentiation. Romney was told explicitly to “stand with the team.” He knew he would be denounced. There might even be a political consequence in his own state. Whether it’s a family, congregation, work system or political party, this is the epitome of surrounding togetherness pressure.
Even so, Romney took responsibility for self. He self-defined, rather than defining or blaming others.
“As a Senator-juror, I swore an oath, before God, to exercise ‘impartial justice.’ I am a profoundly religious person. I take an oath before God as enormously consequential. I knew from the outset that being tasked with judging the President, the leader of my own party, would be the most difficult decision I have ever faced. I was not wrong.”
Finally, Romney did what I believe is the essence of leadership through self-differentiation. He said what he believes, while giving others the freedom to disagree, showing them respect in the process.
“Like each member of this deliberative body, I love our country. I believe that our Constitution was inspired by Providence. I am convinced that freedom itself is dependent on the strength and vitality of our national character. As it is with each senator, my vote is an act of conviction. We have come to different conclusions, fellow senators, but I trust we have all followed the dictates of our conscience.”
Say what you believe. Take responsibility for your own position. Define self and not others. This is what it means to lead through self-differentiation.
A friend, colleague, reader and podcast listener suggested I address this topic. He specifically mentioned surrounding togetherness pressure. I don’t know where my friend stands on what Romney did. But he clearly gets what it means to be self-differentiated.
Like I said, this is not about politics. It’s process not content. And the process is following your convictions when there’s pressure to do otherwise.
At some point, as a leader, you will feel called to take a stand in the midst of surrounding togetherness pressure.
How will you handle it?
