We are visiting our daughter, son-in-law and one year-old grandson, Oliver. It’s a blessing.

Oliver gets up early. I’m usually awake when he gets up, but this means two things.

First, I don’t even try to complete my morning routine. If I can do my prayer time, yoga stretches, devotions and positive intelligence reps before he gets up, it’s a win. That means I don’t spend much time writing, planning or doing other focused work before my workday begins.

Second, I not only want to engage with Oliver, I want to give his parents a chance to sleep in. Our parents (on both sides) did this for us, and it’s a gift we like to give to our children. Think of it as inter-generational transmission.

So, I give myself a break. I’ll get back into my routine soon enough. Right now, the most important thing is to invest in my relationship with my family, especially my grandson.

I was reminded of this last week in a leadership cohort I facilitate. One of the leaders is trying to look daily at their workload to see what they can delegate. They commented that the last two weeks have been busy with a lot of meetings and out of office commitments, which made it hard to do this regularly.

The most important thing they can do is give themselves a break.

I love the discipline of developing helpful habits. But I also know that even when it’s a habit, it’s harder to do when I’m not in my normal environment, when my schedule is overbooked or out of whack, or when I haven’t gotten enough sleep. In those cases, I’m less likely to try to keep my routines AND I try not to stress out about it.

Self-differentiation is knowing your goals and values and working toward them in healthy ways. Sometimes these come into conflict. Like wanting to be productive or wanting to nurture important relationships. Or wanting to improve your situation or trying to manage a crazy couple of weeks.

The most important thing you can do is make your choices and own them. That’s what it means to take responsibility for self.

That also means sometimes you give yourself a break. I hope you can.