This fall I attended the annual gathering of United Methodist camp and retreat executives. These are people who hold a position similar to mine throughout our denomination. There is no one else who gets my work the way they do. They are my people.
As I dictate this I am on my way to meet with four other clergy colleagues who serve in the same region as I. We meet monthly and call ourselves Soul Friends. There’s no one else who gets my vocational calling the way they do. They are my people.
I’m also in a monthly covenant group with camp executives that meets electronically. I’m in a ministers’ study group where each month a different member presents a paper that they have written on a topic of interest. Every year I attend a conference of nonprofit conference center administrators. All of these are my people.
You might think that this is a lot of time spent outside of my work, but I have found these connections to be invaluable in my role as a ministry leader. Here are three reasons why.
Support and Accountability
John Wesley said that support without accountability promotes moral weakness, and accountability without support is a form of cruelty.
It’s extremely affirming to be with people who understand the challenges that you face. I remember being at my first meeting of nonprofit conference center administrators. I realized I didn’t have to explain what I do, as everyone there understood. It felt as much like a support group as it did a professional association.
When you meet with your people in a covenant group, it creates personal and professional accountability. In one of my groups we ask the question, “When in the last month did you fail as a spiritual leader?” And, when you say you are going to do something, next month you’re likely to get asked about it. This has helped me to work to improve every month as a leader.
Learning
It’s hard to express how much I have learned from other people through these connections. Conferences, study papers and workshops are all extremely valuable. But just as valuable is the informal learning that occurs when sharing a meal together or chatting during a break.
I was recently at the national United Methodist camp and retreat leaders gathering. I’m in my 20th year in this ministry so somewhere along the line I became the old guy. I was complimenting the event chair, and sharing that I was excited about some ideas that I had learned in a workshop. She said, “It’s wonderful that after all these years you are still learning new things.“ I replied that I feel like when you stop learning you die. You CAN teach an old dog new tricks.
Community
Community goes beyond support and accountability. It helps shape identity. As Seth Godin says, “People like us, do things like this.“
I just finished co-leading a retreat for writers who are looking to write and publish their first book. It was incredibly inspiring. There was a sense of trust and vulnerability that developed almost instantly. People shared their hopes and dreams, as well as their pain and challenges. This is what people like us do, even through the written word that we put out to the world.
Community is a source of strength when you are trying to do the hard thing. When your sense of calling shows you the change that needs to be made, it’s likely that there will be many who don’t understand. But your people will. And it’s this community, this identity, that will remind you that you are not crazy; that you are on to something and need to persist. This is essential for effective leadership.
As a leader, you need to find your people. You can do it alone, but you’ll be more likely to burnout or give up. And you won’t be your best because you’ll lack the sense of perspective that others can provide, as well as the focus that comes from having a strong identity.
So go find your people.
