The Differentiated Leader: A Family Systems Theory Community of Practice
This eight‑session community of practice offers will help you understand relationship systems so that you can lead as a non‑anxious presence, personally and professionally.
Across the monthly meetings, we’ll explore Bowen Theory’s core concepts, apply them through genograms, connect them with mindfulness, Positive Intelligence, Internal Family Systems, and Attachment Theory, and examine Murray Bowen’s and Edwin Friedman’s leadership insights.
Each session blends brief presentations with thoughtful discussion, giving you space to reflect, learn, and practice self‑differentiation in real time.
What: eight (8) monthly sessions via ZOOM (sessions will be recorded if you can’t make it in person)
When: The second Monday of each month from [7:00]-8:30pm ET, beginning October 12, 2026
Cost: FREE
Syllabus:
In each session, the presenters will provide a brief overview of each concept followed by Q & A and discussion questions.
Session 1 (10/12/26): Exploring Bowen Theory’s Eight Concepts – Part 1
Murray Bowen conceptualized family systems theory as eight interlocking concepts. These concepts help explain emotional patterns in the family and across generations. This session will explore four key concepts: (1) Nuclear Family Emotional Process, (2) Multigenerational Process, (3) Triangles, and (4) Self-differentiation.
Session 2 (11/09/26): Exploring Bowen Theory’s Eight Concepts – Part 2
In our second session we will examine four more key concepts of Bowen Theory (5) Family Projection Process, (6) Emotional Cutoff, (7) Sibling Position (8) Societal Emotional Process. We look at Bowen Theory writ large across society and culture, and how anxiety, fusion, and herding affect political and cultural forces within a society.
Session 3 (12/14/26): What is a Genogram and How to Construct Yours
The genogram is the key to understanding how you function without blaming yourself and others. In this session, Jack Shitama will present his genogram, as well as provide guidance so you can develop your own.
Session 4 (01/11/27): Accessing Our Best Self: Theory into Practice
Having explored the basic concepts of Bowen Theory, the question naturally arises as to how to put the theory into practice. How does a leader recognize anxiety and reactivity in an emotional system in time to access their “non-anxious presence?” Through an exploration of (secular) mindfulness practices, and PQ (Positive Intelligence), we’ll learn techniques to self-regulate so you can be self-differentiated when faced with an anxious emotional system.
Session 5 (02/08/27): The “Self” and Internal Family Systems: how do our “Parts” interfere with Self-Differentiation
Dr. Richard Schwartz developed a framework called Internal Family Systems which looks at the way various “parts” of ourselves affect our functioning. We’ll examine our Basic (or best) Self, as well as the Managers, Exiles, and Firefighters that can interfere with our highest self-differentiated functioning. By becoming aware of our different “parts” when they arise we are better able to access our highest “self” and be the “non-anxious presence” in the emotional system.
Session 6 (03/08/27): Unpacking the Genogram
In this session, Jack Shitama will walk you through how to process your genogram, using a live example from this Community of Practice.
Session 7 (04/05/27) Bowen Theory and Attachment Theory: Similarities, Differences, and Applications
The seminal research on attachment by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth suggests humans are biologically wired to connect with their primary caregivers. This session will provide an overview of Attachment Theory along with discussion on where it aligns with, and differs from, Bowen Theory. The presenter will also explore how the application of both theories can deepen our understanding of human behavior in everyday life.
Session 8 (04/12/27): Bowen & Friedman
Leaders today aren’t overwhelmed because they’re incapable. They’re overwhelmed because our culture is running on chronic anxiety. Bowen showed that anxiety moves through a system like electricity, and Friedman taught that the most powerful thing a leader brings is a clear, non‑anxious presence. We’ll compare Bowen and Friedman and how their work applies to leadership today.
Your Faciltators:
Brian Ivory holds a PhD in Higher Education and a Master’s Degree in Counseling and Student Development. During COVID, Brian stayed connected with colleagues by initiating a study group using Jack Shitama’s book: If You Met My Family, You’d Understand. He has since co-facilitated seven book studies on Bowen Theory (e.g., Edwin Friedman, Jenny Brown). During the past two years, Brian has been a participant in the Continuing Studies Program at the Bowen Center. He also leads a “Community of Practice” for fellow faculty members at Mott Community College. This eight-month program is titled: “Anxious Students, Anxious Faculty: Managing Reactivity In and Outside the Classroom: A Case Study Approach.”
Mike McDonald brings experience as a Minister, former Adjunct Professor of Leadership and Organizational Behavior, Fortune 500 corporate leader, Special Operations veteran, and Family Systems coach. He helps leaders, teams, and families navigate high‑anxiety environments with clarity and calm. His background in congregational care, higher education, and healthcare operations gives him a unique view into how anxiety moves through systems and how principled leadership can transform them. He has taught Bowen theory across pastoral, academic, and corporate settings, bringing a style shaped by military training, theological grounding, and servant leadership. Mike lives in Texas with his family and continues to write, teach, and coach on differentiation and emotionally mature leadership.
David Mullen is a retired educator now living on Cape Cod after a 45 year teaching career in the Washington, DC area. For 30 years he led small private special education high schools, where he developed expertise with Bowen Family Systems Theory and with Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction. He currently consults with schools and other organizations on managing anxiety in the emotional systems of the classroom and workplace.
Lisa Reardon holds a PhD from the College of William & Mary (with a focus on gifted education) and a masters degree in Teaching Secondary English from the University of Virginia. She was first introduced to family systems theory in an educational counseling course at W&M. Lisa has co-facilitated one book study and three courses using Jack Shitama’s book, If You Met My Family, You’d Understand: A Family Systems Primer. She also helped facilitate a book study of Friedman’s A Failure of Nerve and two book studies on Jenny Brown’s Growing Yourself Up. Lisa has continued to broaden her understanding through coursework on positive intelligence, mindfulness, and compassionate communication.
Jack Shitama is an author, teacher, speaker and coach. His family systems approach to leadership helps congregational and nonprofit leaders achieve their best spiritually, physically and professionally. He is an avid learner with a passion for taking the most recent secular learnings and applying them to spiritual leadership. Jack is an ordained minister in The United Methodist Church and currently serves as the Director of the Center for Vital Leadership for UMC churches in DC, MD and DE.