When the System Gets Anxious, You Don’t Have To
Meet The Non-Anxious Life—a calm, steady AI coach designed for leaders, parents, and professionals who are tired of being pulled into everyone else’s anxiety. Rooted in family systems thinking and the proven practice of becoming a non-anxious presence, this coach was built using my books, blog posts and podcast episodes. It helps you think clearly under pressure, stay connected without overfunctioning, and lead without fixing or controlling others.
Whether you’re navigating church conflict, family tension, or organizational stress, you’ll get grounded guidance that focuses on process, not drama—and on what you can actually change: yourself.
This isn’t therapy or platitudes. It’s practical coaching for real moments—what to say, how to say it, and how to regulate yourself when stakes are high. You can choose a reflective coaching conversation or direct, ready-to-use scripts. The goal is simple: help you show up as a non-anxious presence when it matters most, so anxiety stops running the system and you start leading with calm and confidence.
The Non-Anxious Life AI Coach FAQ
What is this GPT?
It’s a calm, practical coach that helps you show up as a non-anxious presence—steady, clear, and connected—especially in tense relationships and leadership moments.
How was it developed?
Matt Hagen, a program manager in the software industry, was a Non-Anxious Leader Podcast listener. He developed an early version of this GPT using podcast transcripts and other family systems material. He asked me to test it and I was amazed. We then agreed to develop this AI Coach based solely on my intellectual property, i.e. books, podcast, blog posts, etc. The result is The Non-Anxious Life. It was developed through Matt’s ChatGPT account, so you’ll see his name on it.
What kinds of situations can I bring?
Anything relational where anxiety is running the show: ministry/church dynamics, family conflict, or organizational/team stress. You can come with a crisis or just a recurring pattern you want to change.
How do I start (best prompt)?
Say what’s happening in one sentence, then choose your path: Ministry, Family, or Organization.
Do I get “coaching conversation” or “just tell me what to do”?
You can choose either:
- Coaching conversation: a short back-and-forth with one question at a time, then a focused plan.
- Direct answers: concise steps + a one-line script you can use right away.
To trigger Direct Answers, say: “Just give me the words,” “60-second plan,” “BIFF,” or “Direct answers.”
What will you actually do with my situation?
Typically: reflect what I’m hearing, name the pattern (process over content), offer one gentle “I-line”, add one regulation move, then help you take a tiny next step (within 72 hours).
What’s the “method” underneath this?
Family systems thinking: groups function like emotional systems. When you change your part (steadiness + self-definition while staying connected), the system shifts—often predictably.
What info should I include for the best help?
If you can, include:
- what outcome you want
- who’s involved (and who’s stuck “in between” whom)
- what you can/can’t control (role, power, constraints)
- your next live interaction (meeting, call, dinner, text thread)
Will you help me avoid getting triangled (being the go-between)?
Yes. A core aim is to help you hold an I-position and reduce “carrying messages,” while staying connected and calm.
Can you give me scripts for boundaries or pushback?
Yes. You can ask for boundary help (time/topic/behavior/access) and non-anxious responses to blame, guilt, or escalation.
Do you include faith/spiritual framing?
If you raise faith (common in Ministry/Family), I can include a gentle Scripture-anchored value. If you don’t, I’ll stay secular and practical.
Is this therapy or professional advice?
No—this is coaching for clarity, steadiness, and next steps. If you’re in danger or at risk of harm, seek immediate local help and support.
What are a few example prompts?
- “Family path, coaching conversation: My sister keeps pulling me into fights with our mom.”
- “Organization path, direct answers: I need a calm script for a defensive employee in tomorrow’s 1:1.”
- “Ministry path: A key volunteer is triangulating the staff—help me hold my line without escalation.”
What if I don’t think the answers are accurate?
GPT’s make mistakes. If something doesn’t seem right, email me and I’ll help you sort it out.
ChatGPT FAQ
Do I need a ChatGPT Account to use The Non-Anxious Life
Yes—you generally need a ChatGPT account to use a custom GPT like this one.
Here’s the practical breakdown:
If you’re using it inside the ChatGPT app/site:
You’ll need to be signed in. Custom GPTs live inside the ChatGPT product.
If someone shares a link to this GPT:
You can click it, but you’ll still typically be prompted to log in / create an account before you can chat with it.
Exceptions:
Sometimes OpenAI runs limited “try it without login” experiences, but that’s not the normal setup for custom GPTs.
Do I need a paid plan to use The Non-Anxious Life:
You don’t need a paid plan specifically to use this GPT—it depends on what plan your ChatGPT account is on and whether OpenAI is currently allowing custom GPTs on that tier.
In general:
If you’re on Plus/Pro/Team/Enterprise: you should be able to use custom GPTs like this one.
If you’re on the Free plan: access can vary. You should be able to use GPTs, but you may see limits (like fewer messages, or no access to certain GPTs/tools).
Can I bookmark The Non-Anxious Life within ChatGPT
Yes — within ChatGPT you can “bookmark” this GPT by pinning/favoriting it, so it’s always easy to get back to.
On web (ChatGPT in a browser):
Open this GPT → look for Pin (📌) or Favorite/Star near the GPT name (or in the top menu) → click it.
After that, it should show up in your left sidebar under your pinned/favorite GPTs (or “GPTs”).
On iOS/Android:
Open this GPT → tap the ⋯ (more) menu near the GPT name → choose Pin / Add to Favorites (wording varies).
Then you’ll find it in your GPT list (often under Pinned or Favorites).
Questions? Send me an email.