On January 31, 1988, my favorite football team got off to a miserable start in Super Bowl XXII. By the second quarter they were down 10-0. I figured I needed to change their luck, so I put a kitchen chair at the back of my in-laws’ great room and stood on it. It worked. My team scored 35 points in the second quarter and went on to win easily.

Did my antics make a difference? Absolutely! They made a difference for me. As for the outcome of the game it had no influence.

Today, many people are anxious about political violence, tariffs, budget cuts, deficits, immigration, racism, interest rates, inflation, unemployment and more. The list is long

So, what do we do?

Self-differentiation involves taking responsibility for self. It’s focusing on the things that you can control, not the things you can’t. This helps you to regulate your anxiety so that you can be a non-anxious leader.

What you don’t want to do is let your anxiety make things worse for yourself, those you love and those you lead.

Here are four suggestions to manage yourself through uncertainty (now and in the future).

The first thing you can do is pray and meditate.

These are proven ways to reduce your anxiety, as well as to get some much-needed perspective on the situation at hand. Spiritual practices will help you to understand that mostly what you can control is your own response.

The second thing you could do is to find a harmless placebo.

This is what I did in Super Bowl XXII. While it had no effect on the game, it did help my own anxiety. Peacefully gathering with other people to pray for the situation will not likely change the minds of others, but it will make us feel better. You can also join public gatherings or protests in ways that don’t incite violence or intimidate others. That’s being a non-anxious leader not an anxious one.

A third thing that is close to this is giving money to support the change you want to see.

This is not exactly a placebo because it can make a difference. But the more important difference is it will help you feel like you’ve done something to influence positive change. That said, our country (and world) is more divided than united. Which leads to the final thing.

Finally focus on treating other people with grace.

Grace is unconditional love and acceptance. There’s a good chance that there are people you work with, lead, are friends with or are related to who have ideals that are opposed your own. Judging them won’t help. Loving them will. It not only will help you regulate your anxiety, but it will help others do the same.

Demonizing your opponents won’t help. It only intensifies the conflict of wills. Grace is counter cultural. It focuses on our common humanity instead of winning political battles. I believe it’s our only viable way forward.

The best thing we can do right now is to work and pray for what we believe in, while giving those who disagree with us the respect to do the same. That’s what it means to be a non-anxious presence. That is my hope and prayer for all of us.